How quickly time is flying along this year, its hard to believe that we are already well into the Autumn Season.
The trees full of vibrant colour, a chill in the air, rose hips in the hedgerows, darker nights drawing in.
As we head towards into the winter months, this is a time of preparation for the dark period ahead of us, of going inside, preparing for hibernation physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
Autumn is the time to prepare to withdraw into our inner cave. Just as the trees prepare, gathering their energy as they let go of their leaves to wait for spring and warmer days to begin anew.
Autumn Equinox is halfway between the summer and winter equinox the Sun is exactly above the Equator and day and night are of equal length.
Equinoxes reminds us to come back to a place of balance within ourselves, to prepare for the next part of our journey.
I have been busy building a NEW WEBSITE that will be Launched by Samhain Celtic New Year’s Eve, this next festival marks the end of the harvest time. My shiny new LOVEINTHEBREATH website will also include a shop for… JAHLove Jewellery and Beautiful Breathing Blankets just in time for Christmas Shopping xXx
One example of this I have come across in my life is, ‘You’re Insecure” I get this judgment projected on to me often, especially from men. My light and high vibration bring up can their own shadow, and they try to blame it on me.
I totally accept and own that I have insecurity glitches, I can be self-centered or self-obsessed and if we’re totally honest, can’t we all!
Of course, all of our shadows will inevitably come up in an intimate relationship, that’s the whole point of conscious relationships, to see the mirror of our shadow shelf and work through this stuff together.
We can integrate and work through any of our shadows projections ONLY if our partner is conscious enough to own their shit too. Both must be willing to feel uncomfortable, to sit with one another in their stuff, to let it be, allow and acknowledge their pain, upset, anger, and vulnerability. They must be able to listen with compassion to the other without reacting or judging; this work has to be done to create a successful and conscious partnership.
So far my patterns haven’t served me in finding a partner awake enough to do this with ‘yet’, however, my son Fabian who is only 22 is enlightened enough to work with me in this way and be my mirror, because I’ve brought him up to face his pain head-on and I love him so much for this, he is embodying the change we all want to see.
Have you ever felt thrown off your centre by a narcissistic relationship? Well, I’m not immune to this, it just happened to me. I hope that by being honest about my experience and how I used ‘the breath’ to get through this painful trauma super fast, I can inspire you or maybe someone that you know xXx.
The ability to stay with uncomfortable emotions, to breathe into them,
to ‘feel more’ and take responsibility rather than running away, although deeply painful in the short term, in the longterm this approach brings so many gifts including peace, ease harmony, and balance.
I full of gratitude for the breath bringing me back to myself to my own Balance, Power and Harmony just in time for Autumn Equinox.
I love the exquisite timing of Divine Synchronicity in my life.
Many of us yearn for the opportunity to really ‘see’ our shadows, the hidden beliefs, and thoughts that hold us back from being all that we can be. We yearn to breathe in loving acceptance to gently hold our inner child, to forgive ourselves and others so that we can feel lighter, kinder, more empowered, and freer. Working on our shadow, together with our loved ones, is the ultimate and true intimacy or ‘into me see’.
It takes a lot of courage to ‘own our shit’, but the rewards are greater than anything I have ever known, the most profound peace, self-acceptance, and loving presence. After 22 years of digging deep and doing this work, I find there is always another layer of humility to discover; there is always more work to do.
I have just come out of a year-long on and off painful relationship with an extremely charming and dynamic man who had, in a nutshell, had not done the work, nor was worthy of my time or energy. I did not see any of this because he was very clever and deceptive and told so many lies.
Fortunately, he lived with me for one month during August, and after only a few weeks I began to see the cracks appear in his super, shiny veneer! One thing for sure is that I know the difference between good and bad, healthy form, Unhealthy benevolent form malevolent.
He is a true and classic narcissist, charming AF at first, his confidence was super attractive, but spending every day with him, I realised that this was all an EGO veneer.
He was constantly talking about himself and his achievements and name dropping famous movie directors, politicians and journalists, etc
He began to make fun of me, then to invalidate and question my work, make sweeping unfounded judgments, and tell huge lies. So why you might ask did someone so switched on attract this dynamic into her life? …..
Because of the patterns, I’m still working through and because I am totally committed to working on myself to revealing my shadow self no matter what !!
The ultimate aim is to meet my highly conscious partner, the one with whom I can work through the never-ending shadow layers with love and compassion. This work will always be challenging and uncomfortable, but if it can be done with gentleness, kindness, and good humour, the outcome will always be growth as opposed to the drama this relationship created.
This recent experience was deeply painful when I fell down the cavernous gap between this guy’s charm and the reality of his total lack of empathy. It was a huge shock when I realise just how much I had been fooled. I was thrown totally off balance and was left to pick up all the pieces his and mine, it’s taken me most of September to fully recover, Thank God for the breath !!!
How has Transformational Breath® helped me to recover from a Narcissistic Abusive Relationship in one month?
1. Massive realisations during 1-1 Breath Sessions….. Birth pattern, trying to rescue my mom when I was being born because I thought I had killed her, so was my responsibility to rescue her. My belief ‘until now’ Love = Recuring so I try to rescue lost men!!!
2. Taking my power back fully, I have been afraid of power because my dad was a strong personality, getting body mapped by my students to bring my breath deeper into my lower belly. It’s safe to stand fully in my power and say NO!!! Interesting this was the theme of last month’s Newsletter, clarifying that we always teach what we need to learn.
3. Making it my priority to breathe, feel, and own my feelings allowing the waves of grief for what could have been, to arise, and be fully felt.
4. Forgiving myself and seeing the perfection of it all, loving and accepting the pain breathing fully into it in, and accepting it all without judgment.
5. Owning everything I was angry or upset at ‘him for’ ie his ego or telling lies, yes I am all of these things too, I can see them in me.
5. Starting every morning with 100 breaths to Joy and focusing on gratitude for everything good in my life.
6. Spending time with supportive friends who are great huggers who are there for me no matter what and remind me that I am amazing.
7. Soothing myself by spending more time alone Breathing in Nature.
8. Feeling and fully expressing my anger towards him in a safe space, so that it doesn’t get stuck in my body-mind psyche.
9. The realisation that some men will lie say anything to literally charm the pants off you LOL and yes to be able to laugh at myself and keep a good sense of humour!!!
Aha, the Majic 9 !!!
I am so grateful for this experience it has taught me so much and increased my sense of self-worth massively. I have learned the need to take things much more slowly with any new relationships so that I can be more far more discerning, nature has been nurturing my soul big-time, As nature has been letting go of leaves so I have been letting go of the tears…
Relationships have been my greatest nemesis, we all have blind spots, and I fully own this one is definitely mine, Its why I love this work because I can be open and vulnerable
and continue to learn and grow.
I know I am successful at empowering others to create their own personal or private practice, to open up to their innate joy, passion for life, and creativity, I love enabling clients to make money from doing what they love, and that I have inspired many and made a difference in their lives.
But there is always another layer of healing to achieve in my own life too, which is honestly one of the main reasons that I do this work. It’s simply not true that one needs to be fully sorted before you can help others.
I believe that wounded healers who have been to the depths of pain themselves are the best ones to support you through your own painful past hurts.
We are all in this together and I learn as much from my students and clients as they do from me.
I believe that this deep inner work is playing a strong part in what is happening on the world stage right now, as we work on releasing our personal shadows, this is assisting in the process of the veil being lifted on the global shadow too.
I believe that these two energies are inextricably linked and are one and the same because all of consciousness is connected. So as humanity has done more personal development work delving into and transforming our inner world, this has an equal effect on the outer world.
We are in the midst of a war on consciousness as there are so many attempts to stifle self-expression, doctors, and virologists who question the mainstream narrative are being discredited and removed by the mainstream media including Social media platforms
Many are leaving or being banned from Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube for expressing any opinions that do not follow a specific narrative. People are feeling very upset by draconian measures due to COVID-19, many have suffered huge losses of income, businesses are folding, many have family members have been left to die alone. Others feel angry because they have been restricted from expressing themselves freely or questioning anything but the narrative being pushed by the government.
It feels like freedom of speech and democracy, something our grandfathers fought for in two world wars to protect, is now been completely eroded and quite rightly folks are just not happy about this.
Over 30,000 ordinary people gathered at London’s Trafalgar Square on 3 separate weekends during August and September, to protest lockdowns and social distancing rules imposed to slow the spread of COVID-19.
What has become clear is that so much change has happened around the world in such a short space of time during 2020. Many didn’t fully experience the summer this year, being alone and isolated in their homes, many in fear. For some this time offered a great opportunity to go within, to reflect on life, and to re-evaluate.
For many, it is still incredibly challenging yet it really does feel like Humanity is shifting its perception, albeit slowly as we are lifting the veil on all that has been hidden, namely the corruption and abuse of power in some cases for centuries.
We are in the process of addressing the collective shadow, for too long there has been a lack of compassion for one another, a lack of awareness, of acceptance and care, a lack of unity, and great imbalance, we have fallen for divide and rule tactics to divide humanity, the rough religion, race or colour. Now it feels like the tide is turning, what a pivotal time in humanities history this really is.
If you would like to change your inner and outer worlds then sign up for my TRANSFORM your SHADOW workshop below x
Death and rebirth are one and the same, for the NEW WORLD to be born the old one must die and this next event felt like the shoots of
OUR NEW WORLD emerging out of the ashes of the old, defying the attempted implementation of the 666 rule just a few days before xXx
LOVE JAM FESTIVAL in READING
A few weeks ago Vincent and I were blessed with an invite to attend the most Beautiful Festival of Love Peace and Unity in action, located in the grounds of a beautiful Stately Home on the bank of the River Thames …
Talk on Transformational Breath® followed by an outdoor workshop for over 40 people x
It was a wonderful, rewarding and amazing experience throughout, 200 beautiful high vibe people, no alcohol, amazing acoustic music, and incredible workshops, and sublime vegan food, the sun was gloriously hot and we danced until the wee hours chanting and drumming around a huge fire beside the river.
I had the realisation when I was in the field in Reading that this week 8 years ago in 2012, I closed my shop BARAKA in Boscombe and spirit called me to Avalon.
What an amazing journey I’ve been on since then, focusing on breath work full-time, listened to my guides and took a huge leap of faith, moving with my family to Glastonbury after 10 years in Dorset. The catalyst was being offered a job with the Highly Prestigious Arrigo Programme in Somerset and I can honestly say I have never looked back.
I have learned so so much from working for Fiona Arrigo, who is an inspirational and warm-hearted generous woman who works miracles on her highly acclaimed bespoke clinical programmes, which I am fortunate enough to work on.
She is a sublime orator and paints the most delightful pictures of prose, with her eloquence of the English language, her deep understanding of the human psyche and grounded connection to the spirit of what makes us human.
I feel very blessed to work with amazing clients who travel from around the world to work with Fiona and her incredible team; to softening into themselves and to let go, in the most stunningly beautiful locations.
Each Personal Retreat is individually designed and created by Fiona and her team, here in Somerset, these high-end clients come for many different reasons. Most often they come alone, always encouraged to disconnect from phones and Tv, to drop into a deep inner and personal process.
Fiona has won many awards and is highly respected in her field of work, I see miracles on a regular basis as clients trust her and the finely tuned process and teamwork which creates the container to fully surrender into. It’s really a great honour to be part of her ongoing team of therapist.
More recently I have been working for Fiona in London at A Place to Heal, Holland Park, I feel so much gratitude for this opportunity, it has been an amazing journey so far and I can honestly say that I am genuinely looking forward to whatever is to come next…
For more information about Fiona’s amazing work visit
A Place to Heal is now offering online workshops and classes.
During October for Mental Health Awareness week many are low cost or donation-based, please feel free to join these online classes.